Tales from the Crypt

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Joined: 03 Nov 2023, 20:04
Location: Dolina Utesheniya

Tales from the Crypt

Post by Sycorax »

I am enjoying a re-watch of "Tales from the Crypt" and thought I'd share my thoughts so far.

S1E1: “The Man Who Was Death”
Vigilante electrician makes it his mission to electrocute “bad” people to death in novel ways. William Sadler and his fine acting elevated this episode. He was very entertaining and convincing, brought atmosphere. Was genuinely disappointed when he didn’t get to kill his last victim. Not because she deserved it, but because the attempt on her life was fairly creative. The Cryptkeeper’s electricity-themed puns got a genuine laugh out of me. 4/5.

S1E2: “And All Through the House”
Bored housewife murders her husband on Christmas Eve, then has to fight a man dressed as Santa who has escaped from the nearby “insane asylum”. Too much hokey screaming. Basically just watching “Santa” circle the house with an axe and her screaming the whole time. Not very thrilling. 2/5.

S1E3: “Dig That Cat…He’s Real Gone”
A homeless man undergoes experimental surgery in which he is implanted with a gland from a cat to see if it would give him 9 lives. To test the results, the doctor shoots the man at point blank range in the head- and success! Ulric the undying is born. Ulric takes his new “talent” on the road with a travelling carnival, making large sums of cash every time he dies and is resurrected...until he miscalculates the number of lives he has left. Reminded me of “Heart of a Dog” by Bulgakov. 3/5.

S1E4: “Only Sin Deep”
Lea Thompson stars in this episode as an aggressive 21-year-old sex worker who makes a deal with a creepy pawnbroker: $10,000 in exchange for her “beauty”( a mould of her face), which she has a limited amount of time to purchase back. Soon after, she lands herself a wealthy boyfriend and is living her dream life- until she begins to rapidly age. Desperate to regain her beauty, she goes on a violent rampage to collect enough money to buy her beauty back, only to discover what the pawnbroker was using her “beauty” for.
“The Portrait of Dorian Gray” meets Carl von Cosel. 4/5.

S1E5: “Lover Come Hack Me”
A broke Lothario marries a mousy but wealthy woman with the intention of murdering her on their wedding night for financial gain. Little does he know his wife has her own ulterior motives: She redefines “hit it and quit it” in a bloody, horrific way. A bit underwhelming. 2/5.

S1E6: “Collection Completed”
Ornery old man is forced into early retirement and is incredibly bitter about it. Further frustrating him is that his wife has found joy looking after a dozen or so animals, including a dog she named after her husband. His response? Take up taxidermy. Her response? Take up taxidermy. Advanced taxidermy. This was the best episode of the season. A very satisfying ending. 5/5.
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