Today we snigger when we hear the tale of the Mary Rose. Yet we must not forget that many men died on that fateful day in July, 1545. Luckily for us, only a brave pilot by the name of Malicent, and the reputation of an insignificant insane transvestite maniac, were killed in this recent farce that makes the De Haviland Comet fiasco seem light. Someone among the high echelons of the Long Haul Outpost insisted, despite warnings from the Board of Safety, to sanction the dubiously modified Cobra Mk. III craft for a test flight. History will, quite rightly, forget all about this...
You can read the short report below, and see for yourself this comical event.
INRA Only
TEST RESULTS OF UNIDENTIFIED CRAFT IN SECTOR ZZ9 PL Z(Alpha)
ADJUDICATING TEST OFFICIAL : CDR Paingne
TEST PILOT : Cdr Malicent
On arrival at the test base, orbiting [CLASSIFIED] on Dodec class [CLASSIFIED], Malicent and I handed the writ for the testing of space worthiness for spacecraft [CLASSIFIED].
On inspection, the craft was discovered to be using an early Cobra Mk. II chassis variant, plans of which had been purchased via Faulcon De Lacy's now defunct R&D wing in Zaonce. The chassis plans were checked for authenticity by myself, whilst Malicent took metal samples from the fusilage.
Metal testing showed minor degradation, common amongst more cheaply constructed vessels designed for short haul flights.
The engine was thrust-tested in standard thrust and retro. Rather worryingly, [CLASSIFIED] had chosen to use a second hand Military issue engine, decommisioned from an ex-fighter of unknown origin. However, the initial thrust tests proved positive.
Structural inspection revealed that the designer had chosen to use an older straight-edged bonding, used mainly for the more archaic Cobra Classic series. This bonding holds well at lower speeds, however, with the thrust expected from the Military drive, Commander Malicent did have some doubts.
The test run began at 08:33 Galactic Mean Time.
Request immediate application for Commander Malicent to be put on the INRA collumn of heroes.
Ship deemed NOT SAFE for local or intergalactic travel.
[CLASSIFIED] to be declared unfit to produce ordnance and spacecraft.
[CLASSIFIED] to receive immediate INRA penalties for death of a pilot due to negligence.
REPORT ENDS.
Sharoma takes no responsibility for anything.